A Practice Date
by Inevitablemoving
Summary: To cheer his friend up, Gon offers to give Killua a 'practice date'; things get awkward... (Gon X Killua, One-shot)


**A "Practice" Date**

Oh, he'd done it.

He'd really done it now.

Not only had Gon left himself a sitting target after losing his Nen, he seemed to have the wonderful idea of invoking the wrath of a psychopathic witch and then acting like she was just having one of those days. As the two boys rested (or more accurately, Killua rested after having carried Gon for so far) just at the entrance to the Three-Circle Hotel, the bustle of the night started to arise. Couples and high-rollers shuffled through the lobby beside the boys, too wrapped up in their own conversation too hear the occasional whispers of the monsters that had been appearing in recent days. After having already gone through one of those damned ants earlier today, Killua wasn't in the mood for Gon walking off a cliff on top of that. The blood in his hair from earlier still wet, the sweat on the side of his head still rolling, his body gave him the timely reminders of the sacrifices he had just endured, and he wasn't going to let it pass without comment.

"What the hell, Gon?!" implored Killua. "Did you not _see_ her? She's a total psycho! Why didn't you run?"

"Oh," said Gon as dispassionately as if he was reciting the phonebook, "Palm was just playing. I'm sure she wouldn't have done anything."

Killua stared stone-faced. He had a knife swung at him with the force to fell a tree, but apparently that wasn't enough to convince his companion that Palm was a few tail-wags short of a puppy-dog. He face-palmed with the force of a train, and shook his head in dismay.

"Geez, I swear, you can be so stupid sometimes," he sighed, before straightening up to deliver the ultimatum. "Alright, that's it! I'm not going to come save you if you ever get yourself in trouble again! Especially not with Miss Googly-turned-Demon-Eyes! I've had enough of cleaning up. It's really getting annoying. Stop it, alright?!"

He was lying, and he knew it. He wasn't going to just give up on Gon, not now, or ever. Gon had been the best thing to happen to him in his whole life. Whole continents of emotions he'd never felt before had begun to roar inside him ever since he met his friend over a year ago. Reared to be a merciless monster that would do the Zoldyck name proud, the young boy had learned to know what joy and friendship was; nothing could make him forget that. The stars would have to plummet from heaven before he'd ever turn his back on the person who reached a hand out to him when no one would. He wasn't mad at his friend; he was worried about him. The thought of losing him was the most horrifying thought he could imagine. He simply wished that his words would make Gon reconsider.

Unfortunately, what Killua didn't count on was Gon taking the bait _as much as he did_. Gon didn't care about the fact that Killua was so touchy about Palm, but he hated the idea that he had hurt his best friend.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Killua," said Gon, emotion now taking root in his voice in form of sincere regret. "I guess I have been pretty selfish today. You've been looking out for me while I've been having fun. I should have at least thanked you a little more, you know, for being such a good best friend."

While Gon thought that this was the best way to make Killua feel happy, it was anything but. Killua felt horrible for making _Gon_ feel horrible. He screamed in his head for Gon to stop beating himself up; this wasn't what he wanted. He felt atrocious for having done that, and that only added to the deeper hole that had been dug for so long inside him. He didn't quite understand that hole, or even like to acknowledge its existence, but there it was, and when he was alone, it was all he could feel. Nothing could fill it, and nothing could dislodge it. It burned inside him without end, silently.

In stark contrast to Killua's downheartedness, Gon's eyes lit up, having come up with something that, while a simple idea, he felt was sure to win him back to his partner.

"I know what to do, Killua! Tomorrow, let's do anything you want! To thank you for helping me today!"

While Killua wasn't stone-faced, he was still flatfooted. Looking at his companion with the same inquisitive nature that made him ask why he was speaking Japanese if Japan didn't exist in this universe, he simply shrugged in satisfaction.

"Nah, it's okay Gon. Forget about it. I just got a little worried about you. Heh, I hope your other dates didn't all go like that!"

Gon chuckled at his companion's naiveté.

"Ha! That's how all my dates usually go, Killua."

Killua's eyebrows soared up his face in confusion so fast that they would have reached the moon in a few seconds if they kept going. He was half wondering how Gon could keep winding up in situations like this, the other half wondering how on earth he was still alive.

" _What_?! What kind of girls did you run into? Hisoka's sisters? His _crazier ex_? Dates aren't meant to go like that! They're meant to be all flowery and stuff!"

Gon continued to laugh.

"Come on Killua, you already said you've never been on a date before. How could you know what to…" he said, before the words lit the fire of his imagination, and he turned away to consider his idea. His smile grew tenfold, as he realised just exactly how to offer his friend thanks.

"I KNOW, KILLUA!" he beamed, pointing skywards, much his companion's confusion. " _I'll_ date you!" Gon felt exceptionally proud of himself for having come up with a method to alleviate Killua's shortcomings. He turned to his friend, hoping for, even expecting a spark of agreement.

"Huh? Killua? Why did you faint?"

* * *

 **ONE MINUTE LATER**

* * *

Awaking as if from a beautiful dream, Killua's eyes slowly opened, seeing Gon's slightly confused face staring back at him. The sight of his friend sharpened his mind, and reminded him of what happened. Clumsily crawling to his feet, Killua dusted himself off, and tried to respond in as dignified a way as he could.

"S-sorry for acting like that," he awkwardly laughed, trying to get it off Gon's mind, which had the same chance of success of an oil-coated snowball's chance in Hell. "Felt a little sick all of a sudden!"

"Really? Are you okay, Killua?" asked Gon with density.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Killua nervously nodded. "I'm one hundred percent!"

"Oh?" asked Gon, before his eyes sparkled again from his idea. "So then you're okay to have a practice date tomorrow?"

Killua was once again shocked into attention, eyes locked in terror, sweating worse than his fight earlier that day. He nervously mumbled incomprehensible sounds to try and reply, but not one came in an order recognizable to humans.

"Come on!" came Gon's encouraging voice. "You've never been on a date before, right? Well, I've been on plenty! I'll show you how to do dates perfect! That way, when you eventually get one for real, you'll be as good a dater as you are a Hunter! Come on, I'd love to do it! Do you want to?"

Raising a trembling finger, Killua opened his mouth, but his voice refused to come out. He didn't know how to reply, he didn't know how to begin to reply, his very murmuring felt like an insult to the concept of 'replying'. His mind was blank, searching in all directions for the words he needed, until he felt one travel straight from his unconscious straight to his tongue:

" _ **YES**_!" Killua shouted so loud that all the anxiety over what he was going to say immediately turned it into anxiety about how Gon was going to take it. He worried that he looked creepy in how much he clearly desired it.

Gon, however, was simply flattered because he felt that Killua was onboard with the idea of learning about how to date.

"Great! This is going to be amazing! Don't worry Killua, I'll teach you everything you'll ever have to know about dating! We'll go to the hotel-restaurant tomorrow, and then I'll make you the greatest dater in the world! Right, let's go check out our room!"

As Gon ran towards the door, expecting Killua to follow behind him, he was confused at his friend's awkward stammers and stopped, worried for the paler-than-usual Killua.

"Is something the matter?" Gon asked.

"No! No!" Killua anxiously reassured him, waving his hands with a fake smile. "It's just…um…I feel like a little fresh air at the minute is all!"

"Oh," nodded Gon, before smiling again with a wave, "See you inside then!"

Killua watched Gon joyfully race inside; he knew that his friend didn't understand how much that simple request had stunned him. He was always thankful for Gon, but never more so than right there. Thankful for how Gon didn't probe his insecurities, and thankful Gon would be so kind to do him such a service. While the intention had flattered him, the effects were anything but. Now his mind was exploding with dilemmas all competing for attention. What did he have to wear? What was he going to do? What _could_ he do? Was Kurapika _really_ a guy? Admittedly, that last one was a little weird.

Beneath this, all his thoughts were broken by the pounding rhythm of his heart against his sternum. The sheer discomfort forced him to lean against the wall to steady himself. He even had to look at his chest to make sure his pounding wasn't rustling his shirt. He couldn't recall a heartbeat quite like it. Even in the most perilous of fights, it never had a movement like that. This was something bizarre and unique; certainly not something that Killua Zoldyck was all too familiar with.

"What the hell's wrong with me? Why am I acting like this?" he asked himself, worried not just for himself, but for Gon, whom he had sworn to protect.

The night-winds cooled his overheating cheeks, as he wondered just what on Earth was going to go down tomorrow.

* * *

The evening was coming down the day after, and the hotel's restaurant was a surprisingly Cosmopolitan blend from the far corners of the world. People from all walks of life strolled around its fancy halls, from the Aristocrats on parade, to the husbands and wives nagging, and even the black-haired, spectacled man in a fine suit, peeking above his newspaper at the surroundings. The nightlife was beginning to rev up, but there was still enough calm to have a civilised meal in peace.

Finally, at seven on the dot, Gon casually but cheerily entered, looking for his best friend, and was quite amazed at what he saw. Killua had firstly chosen a table on the opposite end of the entrance at the wall, sitting on the sofa section with the chair already invitingly outstretched. He had evidently arrived very early owing to the water and both menus already being on the table, but what was more interesting was what he was wearing. It looked like the same tuxedo they got way back for the Greed Island auction, except it looked positively luminescent. Gon was decidedly impressed, as he was simply wearing his normal green jacket like every day. He was thrilled that Killua had apparently got over his nerves and was taking this very seriously.

When Killua saw Gon approaching him, he instinctively retreated into himself, grasping his hands together under the table, gritting his teeth lest he say anything stupid. His eyes tried to show courage but looked timid instead. This was not a setting he was used to, and he was immediately uncomfortable that his friend had not taken similar dress codes; he looked like he brought a study book to a party. As Gon approached, little droplets of sweat already rolled down Killua's temple, while the many, _many_ aftershaves did their best to try and hide the odour. His feet shook wildly, even when he hooked his leg one over the other, which he did when his quivering was so bad it was shaking the table itself.

Far from Killua's worse fears, Gon looked thrilled.

"Wow! You look amazing, Killua! You really put a lot of time and thought into this!"

Killua was relieved, though blushing like a fool.

"Y-You like it, Gon?" he asked bashfully.

"Yeah!" Gon replied. "You really wanted to make sure this date went good, didn't you?"

Killua stammered, hearing an accusation.

"Uh, I was just real interested in what we were going to talk about today! Not every day you get a practice date!"

Every stupid line he said made him want to rub his face against sandpaper; thankfully he could drive a country through the gaps in Gon's perception

"Right!" said Gon, taking his seat opposite, "I'll be the girl, right?"

Killua's eyes widened at the statement, but he nodded anyway.

"Okay," said Gon, barely containing himself, as he rubbed his hands to prepare for the long session ahead, "what's the first thing you say to your date?"

Killua stuttered, looking anxiously at everyone in the dining room, almost hoping someone was going to hold up answer cards behind Gon's back. His eyes locked back to his teacher for the day.

"…Uh…'hello'…?"

Gon smiled.

"See, you're doing great!"

Killua didn't know whether that was an insult or not, but he was already falling under Gon's charm; the unabashed optimism, so alien to the world he came from, that he first fell for over a year ago.

As the night went on, Gon continued going through the ropes with Killua, explaining that should always pay for his date's food, that he should always care about whatever they had to say, that he shouldn't bring up the whole assassin thing. One would think this would be obvious, but Killua's mind was what could most politely be described as 'quirky' after his times in the Zoldyck mansion (not to mention all the times on hiatus too). He continued to pay close attention to everything his mentor had to say, as he slowly tried to gather the courage to ask the question he really wanted to. It was what had first crossed his mind the moment Gon had first suggested the date, but by the hour mark, it had grasped his mind too hard to ignore any longer.

Killua awkwardly raised his hand to ask a question, turning his head to the floor lest Gon look him in his quivering eyes.

"Yeah, Killua?" asked Gon in his typical rosy voice, as Killua clutched his trouser-leg with his other hand to try and stem the fear.

"W-what sh-should I do if, if _she_ , yeah, _she_ w-wants, wants…"

"Huh? What is it Killua?" asked Gon, confused at how bizarre his best friend was acting.

"I mean…if she w-wants to, to…k-k," Killua continued, until his mind finally failed him.

"Eh? If she wants to what?" came another question from Gon's lips, adding to the pressure tipping his companion over the edge.

Killua finally stopped, as his eyes, already wild with sheer terror went wilder still. His whole body felt like it was shutting down, as he forgot everything about where he was, the best reminder being his crazed heartbeat, blasting on full power. Killua didn't know what a heart attack felt like, and in the stressed state his body was in, he had deluded himself into thinking he was having one right on the spot. He was suddenly struck by a new wave of fear that made the old fear feel all the worse, until finally, he collapsed to his knees on the floor near the table.

The now alert spectacled man behind the newspaper made his move, as everyone in the hall turned merely to watch.

"Killua!" called out Gon, as he immediately reached to his friend, holding him by the shoulder, shocked at his friend's heartbeat.

"Gon," wheezed Killua, trying to catch his breath "I need a doctor."

"That won't be necessary," came a stern voice just charging up to him.

The two boys quickly turned to face this third party.

"Knov-San?!" they called out.

"Yes, yes," said the clearly concerned veteran, as he pushed Gon out of the way to investigate Killua, "both myself and Morel have been here for a while now. We were monitoring you to see if anything was going on. Unfortunately, something just might."

Knov put his hands on Killua's back as all tables turned in direction of the scene. The couples stopped chatting, the merriment was paused, and all eyes looked to ensure that the child was safe.

"I might not be the best Hunter for this sort of thing, but I know enough to get the job done."

"Fine! Fine!" said Killua, hoping for relief from his ails. "Just hurry up, old man!"

Ignoring Killua's rebuke, Knov's Nen did its wonders as best he could despite the limited skill range. He only had a fairly basic knowledge of medical Nen, only enough for basic battlefield reports, measuring the body's chemistry. However, when it came to the fate of the two up and coming Hunters everyone was talking about, he would move heaven and earth to try and save them.

Then he stopped, as even his basic Nen knowledge told him what was happening. He stared dumbfounded at Killua, while the whole room stared dumbfounded at him; Killua was thrice-dumbfounded, only a little annoyed on top of it.

"Well?! What's wrong with me?!" he yelled.

Knov stared a little longer. Then he smiled. Then he sniggered. Then he laughed. He laughed hysterically. He fell backwards onto the floor, completely unable to control himself. He clutched his sides he was laughing so hard. The crowd was baffled, as was Gon, and certainly Killua.

"Is-Is Killua going to be okay?" asked a still very worried Gon.

"Hey! Old man! What the hell are you laughing at?! Just tell me what's wrong! Right now!" ordered Killua with all the fire his surname implied. Unfortunately, a Hunter as experienced as Knov was not going to be intimidated so easily.

"Y-You really want to know? You want me to tell it front of everyone?" Knov chuckled, as he sat back up to eye-height with Killua, barely catching himself.

"Yes! I don't care if everyone in the world knows! What's wrong with me!" Killua demanded, the fury of being made a fool ensuring that he would allow the whole hall to hear what Knov had to say next.

"Killua," said Knov, adjusting his glasses and trying not to burst out laughing again, "you weren't having a heart attack. You were having a _panic_ attack in baited anticipation of your first kiss."

The whole world stopped. No one in the room made a sound, be it Knov, the onlookers, the staff, Gon, and certainly not Killua. He froze and wished the whole world never started again. In one swoop, Gon would know everything. The thing that he refused to tell anyone, even himself, might as well have been broadcast from mountaintop. The colour of Killua's cheeks was fought between the pale white of fear and the blushing red of embarrassment, but it was the fear that triumphed. He wished the feelings would go away on their own, but they never did; they clung to him, no matter how desperately he tried to throw them off. Now, it was too late; he had been outed.

"Eh?" asked a confused Gon, turning to his companion as the only voice in the silenced room. "Killua, I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

That punchline brought out a nuclear reaction within the crowd, as they burst into hysterical laughter at the absurdity of the situation, mixed with that boy's absurd ignorance. While the crowd adored Gon's reaction, Killua was shattered yet further. He looked at Gon with total remorse and horror, now having been outed publically, and even then, he still had to look his friend in the face to apologise. He hated this date. He hated this suit. Most of all, however, he hated himself for being so stupid for doing it. He should have known he would get humiliated like this. His parents were right; it really was a good idea to keep that side of him locked away. That side of him got him wound up here. He began to feel the real tears of regret start to well in his eyes, as he covered his face to hide them. Killua got up and ran out of the hall as quickly as he could before Gon could see what had happened.

While the guests amused themselves with the anecdote, Gon could feel in his gut the wretched state that had befallen his best friend, and turned to help him, until the hand of Knov gripped tight at his arm.

"Hold on, Gon," said Knov, having calmed down, and already regretting what he did, "do you really not understand?"

"U-Understand? What are you talking about? I have to help Killua! He has a girlfriend waiting on him!" he said, tugging to try and get away, until Knov pulled tighter back.

"Gon! Gon...Killua doesn't have a girlfriend. The person he most desperately wanted to kiss was _you_."

Gon was shocked; this had come completely out of left-field with literally no indications whatsoever beforehand.

" _K-Kiss_ _me_?! But why?"

Touched at Gon's childlike ignorance, Knov gently smiled an ushered Gon to sit beside him by the table, keeping his voice down this time.

"Look," said Knov with a sigh, "we've suspected this for a while, but we've only now been able to confirm it. Killua doesn't just like you as a friend, Gon…he loves you. He's been without a friend his entire life until you came along, always helping him out, always being there for him, and not because of his family name. You might not think it by how confident he acts, but deep down, he's really holding a lot inside. He doesn't really know how to express any of it; he is still a child after all. I could tell he was really excited about this date, and I felt good for him. The way he prepared so much to try, the way he looked at you, the way he blushed when you stared at him…I must confess that I regret laughing like that; it evidently hurt him. Now would not be a good time for me to show my face, so it's up to you now, Gon. Please, go to Killua, and try to help him out. We need him. We need both of you to fight these things. If there's anyone in this world that he'll listen to, it's you. Go on, Gon...help your friend."

These words drilled their way into Gon's mind, as he was barely able to keep track of what was going on. Killua was _in love_ with him? It seemed absurd, but he quickly came around to accepting this reality. As the pieces of the chessboard finally found their place, Gon finally felt within his heart what had to be done. Exhausting any alternatives, he finally decided what the right course of action was.

"Don't worry Knov-San, I know just what to do," he said, before standing and walking towards the exit.

"Oh? What would that be?" called out Knov, relieved at the boy's confidence.

Gon turned and smirked.

"Sorry, Knov-San, but if I told you, Killua would probably just get mad."

* * *

Killua Zoldyck had felt lonely for a long time. However, confining himself within the solitude of the hotel room, darkness outside the window, clutching his pillow over his face in top of his bed, he remembered what it was like to feel _this_ lonely. It had been a long time now, over a year in fact, since he met Gon; it had to have been before then that he could remember a moment as lonely as this. To make things worse the only person to blame could be found whenever he looked in the mirror. He didn't want to feel the way he did towards Gon. He just wanted to be a friend, and let that be it. Unfortunately, a voice somewhere within him said that Gon was something more than a friend, more than another person; he was something irreplaceable.

And now he'd ruined it. In wanting to be closer, he had likely just severed their friendship forever.

He peeked towards Gon's bed beside him, and his mind imploded when he tried to think of what to say to him. What could he say to him? He had to think of something. He had to at least tell his friend what he had so desperately tried to contain for so long. He had to apologise for embarrassing him so publically. Then he had to apologise for wasting Gon's time. It was a perfect recipe for self-loathing, and the young Zoldyck wasted no time in letting it devour him from the inside out.

"Killua?" came Gon's voice from the door.

After a brief gasp, Killua leapt off the bed and immediately flung his body to the ground, face practically touching the floor in shame. He was so fast he didn't even see Gon's face as he collapsed into his grovel.

"I'm sorry Gon! I'm sorry for acting like that! I'm sorry for letting my worst feelings get the better of me like that! Please Gon, forgive me!"

After years of rebuke, he expected Gon to waver. He expected his friend to turn his back on him, in which he would be entirely justified. His friendship was about to end and he had no one to blame but himself.

"Killua?" came Gon's voice, neither venomous nor afraid. "Stand up, please."

Fearing the worst in spite of his friend's level voice, Killua stood up, still unable to look his friend in the face, head hunched in shame.

"I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that. My parents told me it would only lead to trouble. Please Gon, I-"

"Killua?" Gon asked again, placing his hands on Killua's shoulders.

The shock of this shut Killua up on the spot, as his glance darted straight towards Gon's. He would have tried to work out what Gon was thinking based on his facial expressions. However, before he could register Gon's face, he registered Gon's lips pressed against his own.

Gon.

Was.

Kissing.

Him.

For Gon, it felt like three seconds. For Killua, it felt like three eternities. Considering that one eternity is a pretty long time, Killua certainly focused in on it; it still felt too short.

Finally, Gon pulled his lips back, beaming goofily about what he did.

"Hee, hee," he sniggered, "Did you like that Ki- _KILLUA YOU FAINTED AGAIN_!"

* * *

 **ONE MINUTE LATER**

* * *

Feeling like he had woken up from a beautiful dream, the sight of Gon looking over him snapped Killua's mind to attention. He scuttled to the corner at the far side of the room, back against the wall in blind panic. He stared at Gon in shock, as his friend casually walked towards him with a kind look that told of no hard feelings. Finally, Gon was standing over Killua, and sat just in front of him. Cornered, Killua had nowhere to hide, as he looked at his comrade eye to eye to work out what on earth had possessed his friend to do what he just did. As discreetly as he could, he began touching his own lips to confirm if that really happened.

"G-Gon?! Wh-what did you…"

The son of Whale Island smirked wildly.

"My best friend wanted a kiss, so I gave him one!"

Killua looked in continued shock, as the red of blushing started to replace white of fear.

"Gon! Y-You shouldn't have, I mean…"

It was no use trying to hide anything anymore. He'd been keeping the lid shut for years, and it had always been screaming to get out. In its attempts to get out, it tore at his insides, leaving a great void where his heart should have been. He was sick of covering up after himself; he had to tell the truth no matter what.

"…I'm sorry for not telling you, Gon. I didn't tell you, or anyone. Sometimes I even tried to convince myself it wasn't true…that I was in love with you. I knew that I could feel like that to boys, it's just that…I never thought I'd find the boy who made me feel like _that_. That I'd change who I was for them. That I'd walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death for them. That I'd sweat, bleed, and die for them. My parents told me not even to think about it…that the only thing that mattered was continuing the Zoldyck bloodline, that it would only lead to trouble, and that my heart was always going to get broken. I felt so bad for thinking about you the way I did. I knew that it was going to end up like this.

"The truth is Gon…I'm not as smart or as cool as I like to think I am, or you probably think I am. I'm not very honest, I'm not very nice, and I'm not even very brave. I was just lucky enough to be born to a family with a lot of money who made sure I'd do everything I was told. I'm nothing special…I'm just a complete idiot…and that's where you came in. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. You made me feel like I was someone who was worth even a little bit of what you thought about me. I hadn't felt so happy in years…and I was so scared that I was going to ruin it with my stupid feelings. I didn't care if you never knew…as long as you were my friend then that was enough. I was just…so scared that you wouldn't be my friend anymore if I told you. I was worried you'd be creeped out, that you'd want to run away from me…and I couldn't take that Gon. I couldn't survive that. Not only that you'd run away from me, but…" he said, as his voice began to break, "if _I_ was the one who caused it, I could never live with myself. You're so much better than me at everything that-"

"Killua!"

The young Zoldyck snapped out of his trance of self-hatred to look his friend in the eyes. They were strange eyes; stern yet caring. The shock of Gon's voice had left Killua speechless, and thus, Gon had free reign for what he had to say. But first, he smiled a little, putting his hand on Killua's shuddering cheek.

"Killua," said Gon with a tenderness that Killua had never heard addressed to him before, "thank you for loving me."

Once again, Killua had found himself rendered speechless by Gon, as his companion told him the things he should have been told years ago.

"I'm so happy that you're my best friend, but even happier that I'm yours. You're the most incredible person I know; if you like me, then I must be doing something right! Why did you think I'd be mad at you for telling me that you _like_ liked me? After all, Killua's still Killua! He's still my friend, no matter what happens. I'm happy, because it means you like me even more than I thought! The nicest, coolest guy I've ever met _loves_ me! You aren't giving yourself enough credit, Killua! If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead a hundred times by now. You kept me safe just because I asked. Come on, I like you too much to let you be sad like this! Even if I don't feel like that to other boys, Killua's different! If you're feeling down, and want a kiss, just ask me! It's the least I can do for my best friend in the whole world!"

Killua slowly turned to hide his face.

"Damn it Gon, s-stop being so embarrassing," he weakly growled, as the blushing grew.

He wasn't hiding the blushing, though…he was hiding the tears. Tears of relief that his friend wasn't going to leave him after all, that he'd finally been able to tell someone about how he felt, that he had never felt closer to the one he loved.

While he turned his face, Gon grasped Killua's retreating hand before it could hide away, holding it with both his own hands. Killua focused on its warmth, its care, and how far his friend was willing to go to make him feel comfortable. It was almost beyond comprehension to him that anyone could love him this much; a killer, coward, brat, and all the other insults his void could come up with to try and silence him. However, this time, the void seemed to be a little quieter than usual, in fact, it seemed to be on the run.

"Killua," whispered a smiling Gon, feeling how weak his friend was.

"Y-yeah?" came Killua's weaker voice, still burrowing his glance away.

Gon leaned in.

"You did great today. Wanna go on a _real_ date tomorrow?"

At first, Killua was silent. Gon continued to hold his friend's trembling hand, but the trembling grew fainter. Finally, Killua began to turn towards Gon, face glazed with tears of happiness, no longer afraid to let him know. No one had ever been so forgiving to him, not even himself. Killua wasn't afraid of what he felt or what anyone thought of how he felt anymore. He hugged the boy he loved with all the thanks he had inside him. Gon couldn't have been happier to see his best friend in such a state.

"Gon," smiled Killua, as he finally got to say the words he recited over a thousand times in his head, "I love you."

For the first time of the night, it was Gon who blushed.

"Heh, that makes me happy to hear, Killua."

All of a sudden, the void in Killua Zoldyck's heart, that had festered as long as he could remember, seemed to disappear.

* * *

 **THE END**


End file.
